The "worth quoting" moment from today's story:
Consorti claimed Miller butted her into a wall with his head and that she later fell over a chair and hit her head on a coffee table. Miller countered that he did not head-butt Consorti, nor did he push her into the wall. He claimed she couldn't have hit her head on a coffee table, as police reported, because they don't have a coffee table.
I'd say they're about a week away from getting their own reality show.