Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Ok, so here's the first post from Montana, and it comes on my twenty-first birthday...it's really not a very exciting moment.

But let's talk about Montana. I really need to get it off my chest.

Ok, so if you thought Missoula, Montana was really really far away from Des Moines, guess what? You're absolutely right it is. I drove 12 hours on Friday. And on Saturday, I still had like 6 more hours to go. Wyoming and South Dakota are the definition of NOTHING.

So I get here, and if you live in Missoula and you don't have a gambling problem, welcome to the minority. There's a casino on every streetcorner here, and if you don't want to walk that far, there's one in the middle of every block too. It's goddamn scary. Chris Hale told me today that if you have a liquor license in Montana, you get a license to have a casino too.

Y'know what? I'm sick of this rant. Maybe I'll come back to it later.

This has been one lonely, depressed KL Snow.

Monday, May 10, 2004

Today I'd like to cover a serious topic. I know it's not something I usually do, but it's a problem I see every day, and a problem that cannot go on as it has for so long.

One in every 54.6 Americans is from Wisconsin. It's a growing problem. Since 1990, 471906 new people have been diagnosed as Wisconsinites, many of them at birth. Marquette County alone, for example, has experienced a 28.5% increase in the number of Wisconsinites present since 1990. All in all, only one county has experienced success in the reduction of Wisconsinites, Milwaukee County, which saw two percent of its citizens leave between 1990 and 2000.

Even Florence County, which in 1990 only held 5088 cases, saw a 10.8 percent increase in the decade.

Wisconsin Residency: It's a growing problem.

Saturday, May 08, 2004

Ok. nothing else today, but here are TWO NEW ONE ACT PLAYS BY KL SNOW!

Play 1: Puppy Farming:

It's KL's early birthday party. He's sitting on a couch cuddled with LAURA on his right and TARA on his left. On a footstool in front of him is a large mug of Ninja Turtle. That's right. KL's got two girls cuddling with him AND he has alcohol. Elsewhere in the room are WILL, SARA, JANEVA, ELIZABETH, BEN and LAURA. KL's memory of this scene is a little fuzzy...he was drinkin just a bit.

(someone says something about a puppy farm)
KL: I want a puppy farm!
TARA: No, puppy farms are bad!
SOMEONE ELSE: You'd eat them!
KL: (slurred a little bit) I'd be nice to them and I wouldn't eat any of them.

Play 2: The Secret Ingredient

KL and LAURA are on the way back to the apartment from the Coffee Merchant. LAURA is holding KL's Chai while he drives.

LAURA takes a sip of chai.
LAURA: Why is this chai so good?
KL: I think it's made with the souls of unborn children.
LAURA almost drops the chai.
KL: Yeah, that's a one act.

Humor concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Ok, this second post is mainly for my own purposes, but here's a cool hat with the Osprey logo on it. :-) https://www.missoulaosprey.com/images/shop/big2.gif
Ok, it's been a while, it's finals week, so i'm a little busy, but I've got lots of news, so here goes:

First of all, I've got a job! (Which means I really should stop randomly shouting "They took our jorbs!" But...but...but it's so much fun! Thank you South Park for once again giving me a catch phrase people will have to strangle me to get me to stop using.) As of monday at about 12:30 or so I'm officially the new Group Sales Intern of the Missoula Osprey of the Pioneer League. Yes, that's right, I'm spending the summer in Bumblefu...I mean Missoula, Montana. So if you're looking for a KL Snow fix to call your very own before May 24, 2004 (my first day in Missoula), here's a tenative schedule.

Friday: The KL Snow's Early 21st Birthday/End of school bash at the apartment. Current ideas for themes are "Bring your own meat grilling," and "let's sit and watch every episode of the live-action Batman series." We'll probably do the first one and only a little of the second one, but it's really my going away party in Des Moines, so I want to see as many people as possible.

Sunday or so: Leave for Minocqua to make my farewell voyage through the Northwoods. Most of this time is unscheduled and therefore open for requests.

Next Thursday or so: Leave Minocqua for the last time of the summer, which will be really weird seeing as it will be May. Head to Wisconsin Rapids for some general revelry before Montana.

Next Saturday: Party with mom's side of the family
Next Sunday (tenatively): Party with dad's side of the family
Next Monday: Return to Des Moines, where I will camp out until the 21st or 22nd, at which point I leave for Missoula.

August 28: Depart Missoula, Destination Des Moines.
August 30: Arrive Des Moines, start school a week late.

So yeah. I'm gonna be gone a really long time and if you wanna see me before I wander off into Big Sky country (which I'm pretty sure is only called that because there's NOTHING else), give me a call or IM me or something.

So I did something fun today. I had a final at 7:30 this morning, and have another at 9:30 this morning, and that makes my mood...less than pretty. So this morning I got in my car and the CD player wouldn't work. So I turned on sports talk radio...normally it's ESPN but in the morning it's two local...gentlemen. This morning they spent 20 minutes during my drive in arguing about a completely baseline baseball argument that was settled by a rule change in the 50's. I listened to it for about 15 minutes and then decided enough was enough...I called in and took them from pillar to post, bashing their heads against everything I found on the way. It probably wasn't the nicest thing to do, and i'm sure they don't like KL Snow very much anymore, but it was so much fun. It's a handy wake-up technique if ever there was one. Sorry, Marty and whoever the other guy is, you just happened to be stupid in the middle of my drive.

But I've got a final at 9:30 and i haven't studied one bit yet. So I'm out.

Mini-celebration concludes. This has been KL Snow.