Greetings from Appleton, WI, and happy day after the 4th of July.

Another blog, and another e-mail from the Bush administration. This one comes from the same address, bushcheney04@georgewbush.com, but this time it's shown as being from "Campaign Manager Ken Mehlman." To negate Ryan's argument about these e-mails not really being from the Bush administration, first google Ken Mehlman, then check out georgewbush.com. Both are legit.

This e-mail comes with the subject "Happy 4th of July from Bush-Cheney '04!" I must give them credit. This time they failed to offend me with the subject line. And on the inside...nothing! That's right. No message whatsoever. I must give them credit. This is the best political spam I've ever gotten from someone I called a Nazi the week before.

Anyway, on to more notable stuff.

I've been off work since June 25, on a leave of absence to recover from surgery. My leave of absence officially ends tomorrow, July 6th. However, no one seems to know exactly how that works. There's some uncertainty as to whether I can work tomorrow, or if I can't work until Wednesday. I called in to work on Thursday, and no one knew when I work again. They told me they'd have an answer Friday. No answer Friday. Today came and I called again, figuring I'd have to go back to work tomorrow. Instead, I called and got this great quote. "Well, we've looked into it, and we're pretty sure you either need to come back into work tomorrow, or you can't work until Wednesday." That made my brain hurt. I've got off until Wednesday to recover from that.

Laura and I went to fireworks in Green Bay last night and destroyed the "Bigger town = better fireworks" theory. They were ok. Not spectacular though. The fireworks in both Wisconsin Rapids and Minocqua have in the past been more impressive. However, to the best of my knowledge neither a boar nor a house was hit by Green Bay's fireworks, so I guess they've got that going for them, which is nice.

I made the most pointless string of errands ever today. First, I did lunch with Laura, admittedly not pointless. However, from there I made the road trip to Power House Comics, walked across the street, pulled on the door, and it stayed closed. Power House Comics is closed on Monday and Tuesday, so if you're making your very own KL Snow pilgrimage and you're travelling to places I've been, visit Power House Comics on a day that's not a Monday or Tuesday.

I went from there to the mall, equally pointless cause I was there on Saturday and Sunday too. I did buy a couple of books, though.

Then I went to Video Gamestar, which may become another important stop on the KL Snow tour. They sell used NES games. After about 10 minutes in the parking lot on the phone with Ryan, I went in and spent way more than I should have on NES games which I'll play during Wednesday's "Back to the Pile" tour, when I'm readjusting to life as a working dude.

Finally, I came back to Laura's house and looked up another comic book store online, Collector's something or other. I went there and almost freaked out. To quote what I said to Ryan, "There's a comic book store on Morrison, or at least there will be until the building finally rots out and falls down....possibly as soon as tomorrow. I'm serious. The floor slants and creaks and groans under your feet, there's no music playing inside, it's like being inside a house abandoned for 30 years...there's comic books scattered everywhere with no rhyme or reason...I found one comic I was looking for and gave up on digging for the other two. It was a treasure hunt with a creepy silent man watching me. He followed me, a few steps behind, and re-straightened racks after I looked at them, even sometimes after I didn't touch them. It was like reading Rain Man's comic book collection." Yeah. It really was that scary.

Anyway, time to go, getting restless.

Long post concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Ok. I got out of surgery today and everything's ok. Thanks for everyone who's expressed support, maybe I'll talk about that another time. Right now I need to rant before the moment passes.

I got an e-mail today. It was spam, and it was from our president. It was about a video they made about John Kerry, comparing him to the Nazis. They then justified calling John Kerry a Nazi because he and Al Gore (what the fuck does Al Gore have to do with this?) have called the Bush administration Nazis before. Thank you President Bush, you hire speechwriters and content experts to deal with this and the best they could come up with is "He started it." The next time you come up with something this fucking stupid don't even waste my time with it.

There are two groups of people in this world I hate with the fire of a thousand suns. One of them currently runs our government, and one of them sends me spam day after day about generic viagra, making my penis and/or breasts grow, and refinancing my mortgage. It's really rather fitting when they show up in my inbox next to each other.

Here's the e-mail I returned to the gracious folks who felt the need to tell me what the President wanted to waste my time with today.

Why do you continue to ludicrously spam my inbox? I
don't like your candidate. I've compared him to a Nazi
myself. I find your use of mass e-mail sickening and
your policies flat-out disheartening. And Yahoo's
inability to block your crap from filling my inbox
should be criminal.

Please don't bother me anymore. You lost my vote years
ago. Satan could run against you and I'd vote for him.

And I feel like I let them off light cause I'm tired and on pain killers. Maybe the next time I'll hit them harder.

Rant concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Greetings from Appleton, WI, new home away from home of the one and only KL Snow. I'm on my day off from work, but sadly Laura is not, so that's leaving me some time to kill.

But, I do have a story to tell, so without further ado, it's AN ALL NEW ONE ACT PLAY BY KL SNOW! I call this one, "Wow, that was stupid."

KL is in the basement of LAURA'S house watching the 17th inning of a 0-0 baseball game at about 1:45 in the morning. Scott Podsednik doubles, scoring Craig Counsell and giving the Brewers a 1-0 lead. Everyone else is asleep, KL is in the basement by himself.

KL jumps off the couch with his fist raised in the air, smacking his fist and head on the ceiling loudly and simultaneously. Realizing what he just did, KL gets very quiet to see if he hears anyone moving to find the source of the noise. A few moments pass quietly.

KL squeezes his left hand and feels something wrong. He looks down and finds his left middle finger now points way farther to the left than it did before. After a few moments of wiggling, it painfully pops back into the knuckle it came from.

KL: Wow, that was stupid.

In the middle of writing this one act I was called to help Laura's dad move what remains of an old shed in his backyard. The moving itself was nothing notable, working hard to carry things because I want Laura's dad to like me, but then the neighbor from across the street came over to help haul the wood away. We took it to the dump and had one of my favorite "I wish I had a camera" moments of all time. We pulled up to a big dumpster with two legs sticking out of it. Yes, two legs. With pants and shoes on. Apparently someone threw away a mannequin. But it was funny looking from a distance.

That's all for today. I've gotta go clean up before Laura gets home.

Humor concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Wow...it's a tremendously lazy day. I was supposed to stay home today and wait for the phone call to let me know I passed my drug test and I can go start my new job. I got that call at about 9:30 this morning. Since then, I've watched 2 episodes of the West Wing, ate lunch, came back to the computer, chatted online for a little while, moved the couch so I could sit on it and chat online, folded some laundry, moved back to the couch...I feel like such a lazy bum right now.

Laura was in town this weekend, that was awesome. She came up on Friday night and we went out to dinner with Chris and Jess, then we spent the day together on Saturday, introduced her to a lot of the local friends on Saturday night, then spent a pretty quiet day together on Sunday. She left last night and I already really miss her. I hope I'll get to see her again soon.

Laura and I have our 6 month anniversary coming up on June 26...if you have any ideas for things we should do, let me know.

Post concludes. This has been KL Snow

Welcome to KLSnow.blogspot.com. Please have a seat, today's rant about how retarded some people in our midst are is about to begin.

So I got an e-mail today from an Uncle who shall remain nameless for the time being. Here's the text of this e-mail.

DON'T BUY PEPSI IN THE NEW CAN

Pepsi has a new "patriotic" can coming out with pictures of the Empire State Bldg. and the Pledge of Allegiance on them. However, Pepsi left out two little words on the pledge, "Under God". Pepsi said they did not want to offend anyone. If this is true, then we don't want to offend anyone at the Pepsi corporate office. So if we don't buy any Pepsi product, they will not be offended when they don't receive our money that has the words "In God We Trust" on it.

People shouldn't send me e-mails like this. They inspire me to break things. There are times and there are places where bringing God into play is acceptable. This is not one of them. But apparently, someone "under the guidance of God," or perhaps someone who works for Coke, has felt the need to tell you which soft drink God favors. So if you want to stay in the good graces of God, crack open a Coke, or a bottle of wine, or a vial of heroin, just not a Pepsi.

Furthermore, I couldn't care less what's printed on my soft drink can. My can of Pepsi could say "We at Pepsi hope you have a stroke and die before finishing this can so we'll have half a can of Pepsi left to drink when we come ransack your house.", as long as it says "Pepsi" somewhere in there so I know what's in the can. I don't need my soft drink companies to be religious, moral, or patriotic. I need them to make soft drinks that taste good and don't make me vomit. And if you're going to stop consuming Pepsi because it doesn't say "Under God" on it, then I'd like you to stop consuming all things. Including oxygen, which for years has had the utter disrespect to refuse to acknowledge the existence of God.

Wow...it's been exactly a week since that last post, and a hell of a lot has happened. But this is a Blog event for me, the following is the first writing that will ever appear on both my blog and Snowbaseball.com, So I guess the title "stuff I don't put at Snowbaseball.com" is no longer accurate. Perhaps I'll fix that. Perhaps.

Anyway, here's the full Montana story:

Friday, May 21: The day started with a lot of tears, Laura and I parted ways in Des Moines, and to say this made me really sad would be a tremendous understatement. At this point I started counting the days to August 28, when I would be home again to see Laura. Probably should've seen that as a bad omen. Once I got on the road and composed myself I drove for a long time because I didn't want to stop to think about the events of the day...I drove from Des Moines to Sheridan, Wyoming, ate at a good Chinese restaurant, called Laura (briefly) and went to bed.

Day 2: Up early and on the road to make the short second leg of the trip to Missoula. Got to Missoula around 2 in the afternoon, the first day didn't hurt all that much. Moved into the new place, actually was pretty optimistic about it. I met Dan and Lorie for the first time this day, Dan was at home when I got there and the first thing he told me was "Welcome home." I'm going to write a section later where I talk about all the nice things I have to say about all the people I met in Montana, but I'll say this now, I didn't make it in Montana for very longer, but the kindness Dan and Lorie showed me made me want to stay way longer than I would have stayed on my own. Stayed in the hotel with my mom on this night, figured I'd sleep in my bed in Montana enough this summer.

Day 3: Woke up relatively early, did the last setup things in the new place, did laundry with my mom, went to dinner (the Montana Club was excellent and is a definite must-stop in Missoula, btw) and went to see Van Helsing with my mom...said goodbye to her for the summer this night, cried a fair amount. The last person I knew from home was leaving and for the first time I started to feel completely alone in Montana. Dan and Lorie were very cool about it and tried to cheer me up, but really I just wanted to see familiar faces. I called Laura but it was too late, she had already given up on me for the night and gone to bed. So I went online and talked to Tara. Here's the first absolutely glowing reference I have to give out in this story. In every tough phase of my life, the person who's been able to reason with me has always been a female friend who can somewhat relate to how I feel. As I tell story after story, it's usually someone different every time, but in this case it was Tara. Virtually every time I needed someone to talk to this week, Tara's been the one who's come through for me. She was the first one to agree with my decision to come home, and of everyone (except Laura) I've seen since I've gotten home, she's the person I've been able to keep in touch with the most. I'm assuming at some point in the future you'll read this, Tara, and when you do, know that I know that you know that I owe you big for all the support you gave me this week.

Day 4 (Monday, May 24): Woke up early for my first day of work, showered and the like, was ready for work at 8:15 (I had to work at 9) and got bored. For those of you who talked to me during this week, you know boredom was public enemy #1 and created the only situations I couldn't recover from. Being bored made me think about home, all the things I could (and would) be doing if I was home, and all the things I was missing out on. After 15-20 minutes of moping I went to work and for the first time in a few days the excitement I showed wasn't fake. I met everyone in the office right away Monday morning, and I think I got a pretty good impression of the people I was working with right away. I'll talk more about people I worked with later on, but here I've got to mention the first person who went out of his way immediately to introduce himself to me, Tom "Tugboat" Carter. Tug held my job last summer, and did a good enough job that he was allowed to remain on the staff as Community Relations Director this season. The immediate interest Tug showed in meeting me made me feel important and definitely gave me the right impression right away. I worked all morning folding letters for a future mass mailing, and went to lunch with Brett, the other intern, who was nice enough to cancel his lunch plans to take me for a walk around downtown and show me some of the sights. After lunch we came back to work and I went back to folding, and I made it until 4 or so before I finally got bored.
That's when I started to see the problem. I didn't get out of work until after 6, and by the time I did I absolutely wanted to scream. I went home and called my mom, and told her I didn't think I was going to make it. I agreed to press on, and then called Laura, who finally managed to calm me back down a bit. After I talked to Laura, I went back into my room, laid down on my bed and drifted off to sleep. At about 6:30. I woke up briefly and met a friend of Dan's later that evening, but I remember nothing about the conversation...for all intensive purposes I was still asleep.

Day 5 (My 21st birthday): Lorie invited me this morning to go out with Dan and some of their friends that evening to celebrate my birthday, and I accepted. I went to work, had a staff meeting, looked at photos for the team website, and spent most of the afternoon stuffing envelopes again. Finished the day off with a tour of what will be the new ballpark (if it ever gets done) and went home to call the family and Laura...had some nice conversation there, got off the phone and decided another nap was in order until Dan and Lorie got home. I slept like a baby for another couple of hours, and got up and had a good time with Dan and Lorie and their friends. Credit where credit's due here for Dan and Lorie...they saw me struggling and they pulled out all the stops to make me feel better. After partying for a little while I went back to my makeshift desk to receive birthday greetings from those who had waited up for me (most notably Tara) and went to bed.

Day 6 (The breakdown): I had a really hard time sleeping Tuesday night and woke up feeling out of sorts on Wednesday. I went in to work but after a few hours I was really disoriented and just completely not myself. Someone at work who had seen me struggling suggested that my grogginess could have been mono, since I had been so sleepy the last few days. At this point my groggy mind began to worry, earning me a team-forced trip to the doctor. Spent the late morning and early afternoon there, underwent some blood tests (and most of you know how much I love needles) and was found negative for mono, but positive for something. Yes, that's right. By looking at my white blood cell count, which was high, the doctor decided I had contracted something, but decided not to further investigate. He recommended I rest the remainder of the day, but said I could go back to work if I had to. I decided to go back to work. I worked for an hour or so before deciding nevermind, I could not actually make it, and I was sent home, where surprise! I got bored. I napped for a few hours, and then I got up and did some hardcore thinking. I realized that the concept of potentially having mono had actually gotten me excited, because if I had mono I'd have to come home. I realized all I'd been doing all day was trying to find an excuse to get out of Montana and back to my life. After some more thought, for the first time the possibility of giving up and coming home entered into my mind. I didn't want to find out what would happen in the next 93 days, if my brain was already trying to derail itself after four. I talked to Dan and Lorie to work out a deal to possibly leave, and I called my mom. Neither were happy with my decision, but I was able to explain my side to both. Finally, I called Laura. We talked for almost an hour about my decision, how disappointed she was in it, and how she thought it was the wrong move, but eventually I got her support as well. I went to bed Wednesday night having told myself it was the last time I would sleep in Montana.

Day 7 (The ending): I woke up early Thursday morning, couldn't sleep again. I hadn't been able to reach my dad since making my decision, so I tried to call him again at several places, but ended up leaving him an e-mail and a phone message. I packed some things before work this morning, then went in to talk to Assistant GM Chris Hale about what I wanted to do. After I talked to him for a few minutes, then talked to GM Matt Ellis, we reached an agreement for me to leave. I said some quick goodbyes to people around the office, went back and loaded up my car, and left Missoula for the last time at 11 am Mountain time. I drove all the way through Montana and North Dakota that first day. My dad found out about my decision and called me while I was in a cell phone dead zone in Montana, so I was able to talk to him briefly and let him know what was going on. I spent the night in Fargo, North Dakota and drove the rest of the way back the next morning, stopping briefly for dinner and to unload some things in Rapids before I moved on to Appleton, meeting Laura after work. Laura and I spent the weekend together and I think her and I are back on good terms. I'm still upset about the way things turned out but all in all I'm happy to be back home and I think I learned something about my own limitations in Montana. I learned that some things are more important than any baseball career I may have, and I will not neglect those things again.

Storytime concludes. Promise next time post will be made on a lighter note.
This has been KL Snow.

Ok, so here's the first post from Montana, and it comes on my twenty-first birthday...it's really not a very exciting moment.

But let's talk about Montana. I really need to get it off my chest.

Ok, so if you thought Missoula, Montana was really really far away from Des Moines, guess what? You're absolutely right it is. I drove 12 hours on Friday. And on Saturday, I still had like 6 more hours to go. Wyoming and South Dakota are the definition of NOTHING.

So I get here, and if you live in Missoula and you don't have a gambling problem, welcome to the minority. There's a casino on every streetcorner here, and if you don't want to walk that far, there's one in the middle of every block too. It's goddamn scary. Chris Hale told me today that if you have a liquor license in Montana, you get a license to have a casino too.

Y'know what? I'm sick of this rant. Maybe I'll come back to it later.

This has been one lonely, depressed KL Snow.

Today I'd like to cover a serious topic. I know it's not something I usually do, but it's a problem I see every day, and a problem that cannot go on as it has for so long.

One in every 54.6 Americans is from Wisconsin. It's a growing problem. Since 1990, 471906 new people have been diagnosed as Wisconsinites, many of them at birth. Marquette County alone, for example, has experienced a 28.5% increase in the number of Wisconsinites present since 1990. All in all, only one county has experienced success in the reduction of Wisconsinites, Milwaukee County, which saw two percent of its citizens leave between 1990 and 2000.

Even Florence County, which in 1990 only held 5088 cases, saw a 10.8 percent increase in the decade.

Wisconsin Residency: It's a growing problem.

Ok. nothing else today, but here are TWO NEW ONE ACT PLAYS BY KL SNOW!

Play 1: Puppy Farming:

It's KL's early birthday party. He's sitting on a couch cuddled with LAURA on his right and TARA on his left. On a footstool in front of him is a large mug of Ninja Turtle. That's right. KL's got two girls cuddling with him AND he has alcohol. Elsewhere in the room are WILL, SARA, JANEVA, ELIZABETH, BEN and LAURA. KL's memory of this scene is a little fuzzy...he was drinkin just a bit.

(someone says something about a puppy farm)
KL: I want a puppy farm!
TARA: No, puppy farms are bad!
SOMEONE ELSE: You'd eat them!
KL: (slurred a little bit) I'd be nice to them and I wouldn't eat any of them.

Play 2: The Secret Ingredient

KL and LAURA are on the way back to the apartment from the Coffee Merchant. LAURA is holding KL's Chai while he drives.

LAURA takes a sip of chai.
LAURA: Why is this chai so good?
KL: I think it's made with the souls of unborn children.
LAURA almost drops the chai.
KL: Yeah, that's a one act.

Humor concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Ok, this second post is mainly for my own purposes, but here's a cool hat with the Osprey logo on it. :-) https://www.missoulaosprey.com/images/shop/big2.gif

Ok, it's been a while, it's finals week, so i'm a little busy, but I've got lots of news, so here goes:

First of all, I've got a job! (Which means I really should stop randomly shouting "They took our jorbs!" But...but...but it's so much fun! Thank you South Park for once again giving me a catch phrase people will have to strangle me to get me to stop using.) As of monday at about 12:30 or so I'm officially the new Group Sales Intern of the Missoula Osprey of the Pioneer League. Yes, that's right, I'm spending the summer in Bumblefu...I mean Missoula, Montana. So if you're looking for a KL Snow fix to call your very own before May 24, 2004 (my first day in Missoula), here's a tenative schedule.

Friday: The KL Snow's Early 21st Birthday/End of school bash at the apartment. Current ideas for themes are "Bring your own meat grilling," and "let's sit and watch every episode of the live-action Batman series." We'll probably do the first one and only a little of the second one, but it's really my going away party in Des Moines, so I want to see as many people as possible.

Sunday or so: Leave for Minocqua to make my farewell voyage through the Northwoods. Most of this time is unscheduled and therefore open for requests.

Next Thursday or so: Leave Minocqua for the last time of the summer, which will be really weird seeing as it will be May. Head to Wisconsin Rapids for some general revelry before Montana.

Next Saturday: Party with mom's side of the family
Next Sunday (tenatively): Party with dad's side of the family
Next Monday: Return to Des Moines, where I will camp out until the 21st or 22nd, at which point I leave for Missoula.

August 28: Depart Missoula, Destination Des Moines.
August 30: Arrive Des Moines, start school a week late.

So yeah. I'm gonna be gone a really long time and if you wanna see me before I wander off into Big Sky country (which I'm pretty sure is only called that because there's NOTHING else), give me a call or IM me or something.

So I did something fun today. I had a final at 7:30 this morning, and have another at 9:30 this morning, and that makes my mood...less than pretty. So this morning I got in my car and the CD player wouldn't work. So I turned on sports talk radio...normally it's ESPN but in the morning it's two local...gentlemen. This morning they spent 20 minutes during my drive in arguing about a completely baseline baseball argument that was settled by a rule change in the 50's. I listened to it for about 15 minutes and then decided enough was enough...I called in and took them from pillar to post, bashing their heads against everything I found on the way. It probably wasn't the nicest thing to do, and i'm sure they don't like KL Snow very much anymore, but it was so much fun. It's a handy wake-up technique if ever there was one. Sorry, Marty and whoever the other guy is, you just happened to be stupid in the middle of my drive.

But I've got a final at 9:30 and i haven't studied one bit yet. So I'm out.

Mini-celebration concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Ok, it's been a while, so without further ado, here is...

A NEW ONE ACT PLAY BY KL SNOW!

KL and LAURA are in the car, KL is driving. Heavy rain is falling. They pull up to an intersection and stop at a red light. LAURA looks out the window.

LAURA: What're you looking at? Yeah, that's right, you'd better look away.
KL (puzzled, looks over): What're you talking to?
LAURA points at a robin that was staring at her.

AND NOW: ACT TWO!

Approximately three seconds later, LAURA'S mood has completely swung.

LAURA (in "oh look at that cute thing" voice): Look at the poor thing, it's all cold and stuff.
(The light turns green and KL continues to drive, dumbfounded.)
LAURA: What?
KL: I still can't believe you were talking trash to a bird.

Maybe you had to be there.

Anyway, let's see what else is new...

First off, the big news. I interviewed on Monday for a job with the Missoula Osprey of the Pioneer League (Rookie). It was most certainly a cause for celebration. I interviewed well and so now i'm carrying my cell phone everywhere waiting for a call back. Don't even think about calling to freak me out...I'll hurt you. But there's gonna be a massive party if I get this job. And if I have to spend the summer in Missoula, Montana, 1400 miles away from home, at least some of you Bloggamaniacs have gotta come visit me.

Beyond that, not a lot is new. I'm tired today, I think I'm going to go hunt down and consume some caffeine before my Econ test. Perhaps I'll blog atcha later when I'm supposed to be working on Philosophy.

Ramble concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Ok, I'm back from Florida, and I've got lots and lots of stuff for you. Before I left I promised lots of people a live diary from Florida, and I kept it up for a couple of days before I stopped having time to just sit down and write. Here are the first couple entries.

Entry 1:
7:30 PM Monday, Departing Chicago

It'll take less than two hours to reach Orlando. That blows my mind. It takes me more time to sit through my Modern Philosophy class. Maybe if we took Prof. Knepper on a plane, let him lecture and we landed in a new city when it was over, I'd go to class more often.

I let Laura read that first paragraph, figuring it'd be good for a laugh. I ended up having to read it to her, she can't decode my handwriting. I guess now I can write whatever I want. Seriously, though, it's great to have Laura along on this trip. I hadn't been on an airplane since I was 12, and without her dragging me through the airport I may not have made it to my plane today. Without Laura's contant encouragement a few months ago this trip probably never would have gotten planned and probably just would've stayed as one of those things I always talk about doing. And on top of all that, without Laura today I probably would have gone to jail.

You see, today didn't have history's greatest start. We decided to leave early for the airport, and somehow our timing was just perfect so that when a guy in a truck decided to make a left turn despite the fact that he couldn't see if anyone was coming, I was right there to hit him. It was a minor fender bender (literally, here's a picture of the damage http://www.snowbaseball.com/graphics/Car1.jpg behind the headlight) but before I thought to call the police, the guy had driven off. The first thing Laura did at the accident scene was to grab me as I was getting out of the car and pull me back in to make sure I wasn't going to kill the guy...and that was the first time I realized killing him wasn't such an exceptional idea.

But it evened out, cause she got to laugh at me when I wasn't smart enough to empty my pockets at airport security and ended up getting wanded.

Here's an airplane thing I'll never understand. I've been on two planes today, and on both, the captain has told us it was ok to take off our seat belts and move around, but if we wished to stay in our seats we needed to keep our seat belts on "in case we experience some unexpected turbulence along the way." So basically, what he's saying is "We may experience turbulence rough enough to throw you out of your seat, but if you're not in your seat, you're screwed and we're just gonna let you flop around. Feel free to get up, though."

It hasn't happened yet, but the point where I forgot something critically important will almost certainly come. At that point I'll probably want a list of things I did remember, to point back to. Let's make that list now.

Tickets to 4 baseball games
Excedrin (Hurricurbstompers, actually)
PEZ
my glasses
two pairs of sunglasses
one baseball book
two Dragonalnce books
clothes
driving directions to our rental car, and all four baseball parks

I'll add an entry as soon as my obvious oversight presents itself. But for now, it's back to my reading.

On a last note before I close the book, my car needs a flight attendant. If someone came up to me and gave
me Dew every so often in my car, I could drive forever.

And on another last note, I miss video games.

Tuesday, 10:25 am, Daytona Beach

Today's continuing theme: "We're in Florida." And that's going to sound really dumb unless you realize it's been a really long time since I've been on vacation, so I need to periodically remind myself. Every moment is special to me. So is every hot chick that walks by. Not counting Laura, we're at 2.

Right now I'm watching a pigeon dig in the sand. I think it's lost. (3)

The water isn't very warm. Laura and I got ankle deep before we decided that was enough (4) ocean for today. It's windy too (5), the seas are really rolling. (6)(7) It's just a little too cold to sit half naked. Not that that's stopping most people, just me and the hot chicks off to our left.

Some asshole just fed the seagulls behind us. Now they're everywhere. And the sun went away. Two cute girls sat near us but it was too cold to get naked. Not fair. I guess they still count, though. (8)(9)

I guess now would be a good time to look back on last night. Going back to Irene's house was no big adventure . . . baggage claim, pick up and the drive back all went reasonably well (10). Irene's house presented a dilemma, though. You see, there's a bit of a culture difference between Laura and I and Irene, who is older and retired. (11)(12) On a side note, I asked Laura if we could take 11 and 12 home with us, she declined.

Getting back to the previous subject, though, Irene drives slow. She drives a realtively small car and has a large dog that rides along everywhere. Ok, another side note: Going to the beach implies you will see certain things. One of those things is not a lemonade truck that drives between you and the water.

I'm going to finish my thought on Irene now, I promise. Laura and I hadn't even considered that Irene wouldn't know we usually sleep together. We got to Irene's house and found two twin beds in our room. And Irene's house is quiet as a tomb at night. (13)(14)(15) I'll leave you those problems to digest on your own.

I mentioned before that the ocean was cold. What I did not mention was that my feet got stuck in the sand and broke the flip flops I had been using as shower shoes since day one of college. It produced an early quote of the week contender: "I have felt the pull of the ocean. It broke my flip flops."

Sadly, that's the last non-baseball related journal entry I had time to make this week, but I'll run you through a quick "Greatest Hits" of the rest of the week now and link you to my pictures.

Tuesday we drove back from Daytona to Orlando, ate lunch at the biggest TGI Friday's I've ever seen and spent $110 to get into Universal Studios. I was a little skeptical about the ability of any amusement park to be worth $55 per person for 5 hours, but I'm not disappointed. Laura and I had this picture http://www.snowbaseball.com/graphics/Universal.jpg taken of us in front of the park.

Getting into the park was a funny story. You see, we were hoping to get a deal on tickets, so we stopped at one of the discount ticket places that appear everywhere in Orlando and got tickets. Anyway, the tickets had Laura's name on them. So when we got to the gates of the park, a solid 15-20 minute walk from where we parked, they asked for ID from Laura, who had left everything but her cash in the car. So Laura said no, she didn't have any ID. So the woman behind the counter asked if she had anything with her name on it, and again Laura said no. So the woman hid Laura's name on our ticket and asked me "What's her name?" When I responded correctly she let us in and prompted the other quote of the week candidate from Laura, "You're my thing with my name on it!"

We proceeded on to Nickelodeon Studios, which I guess actually was a disappointment. You see, there's a chance at Nickelodeon Studios to go sit in a TV studio and play games and stuff, but while we were there nothing was actually being taped. There was also the giant slime fountain you see on TV, but that was about it. Nothing was going on outside, and aside from the shows being put on you couldn't actually go inside. The Ren and Stimpy restroom sign, though, provided an excellent photo op. http://www.snowbaseball.com/graphics/KLRenandStimpy.jpg

On our first pass by the line to get into Shrek was too long, but we got this picture taken with him. http://www.snowbaseball.com/graphics/Shrek.jpg On a side note, Shrek put his arm around Laura and tried to push me away until he saw Laura start to glare at me, not knowing it was Shrek's fault, then he let me in.

We saw the Twister thingy...not really a ride, just kind of a demonstration of what happens in a tornado...waited a long time in line to watch a plastic cow fly by and see a gas tank start on fire...it was ok, but they over-hyped it. The whole show was only about a minute long.

When we came out of Twister, Beetlejuice was dancing in the street, by the firehouse from Ghostbusters. I'm still not sure how to react to that. Next was Jaws, and that was cool. I mean, it's a little cheesy, the shark is obviously fake, but you actually get to ride in a boat and stuff.

We waited a long time in line to get on Back to the Future, but it was well worth it, it was my favorite ride of the day. You actually ride in an eight person Delorean and chase the stolen Delorean around, and you crash into stuff and the car tilts all over the place, it's a good time. Here's me and Laura outside with the Delorean. http://www.snowbaseball.com/graphics/Delorean.jpg

On the way to E.T. we saw a banner with a weiner dog on it, and of course I had to have a picture. http://www.snowbaseball.com/graphics/WeinerDog.jpg

E.T. was cool, you ride bicycles through a big tunnel following ET back to his home planet so his healing touch can save it. A little cheesy but fun. I'm enjoying the rides where you get to ride on things. I think that's why I didn't like Twister. I just stood there and watched things.

Men In Black was a close second behind Back to the Future for best ride, you get to drive around and shoot at aliens. In the end you get a score and they show you your picture with everyone you rode with. I considered getting a copy of the picture, cause everyone in it looked goofy except for me, but decided against it, so sorry, no pic for you here.

At this point we had seen everything we wanted except for Shrek, so we decided to get in line and wait it out. Universal does one thing I really like and one I don't. First, every ride/show/whatever has a wait time listed outside. So when you get in line, you know about how long it's going to take. That's nice, cause we waited until the lines got shorter for a couple of things we wanted to see.

Here's what I don't like. Universal sells Express Passes for its rides. So if you have whiny kids or an inability to wait in line like the rest of us or feel that spending $55 to get into the park wasn't enough, you can buy Express passes and automatically go to the front of the line. But when the line for Shrek is 75 minutes long and I see the same people use Express passes to butt in line 3 times, it starts to bug me.

Anyway, we waited and I grumbled at people who snuck in front of us and finally got to see Shrek, which was pretty good. Not quite worth a 75 minute wait. but maybe a 45-60 minute wait. It was all done in 3D, and I didn't realize it when we sat down, but the chairs were set up to do things like bounce up and down, spray you with water when Donkey sneezes, and shoot cold air by your feet to make it feel like spiders are on the floor. Good times.

All in all Universal was good. They do a very good job of not just making it a park full of rides. There's cool stuff in between rides too. Like I mentioned before, when I was done trying to figure out why Beetlejuice was dancing in the streets, I noticed he was next to the house from Ghostbusters. Little things like that are cool.

That's about all my notes from Universal...we went out for dinner Tuesday night and spent all day Wednesday and Thursday at baseball parks (notes on that will appear at Snowbaseball.com sometime in the next few days).

Friday morning was rough...we had a 6:15 am flight out of Orlando, so we got up at 4:35 (3:35 Central time) to go to the airport...there was no Dew on the plane but that was the biggest issue. Aside from the fact that I was kinda tired and grumpy all day yesterday and got drunk on top of it last night. But there's my trip to Orlando. And like I said, the baseball part will be up on Snowbaseball sometime soon.

Way long post concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Ok, it's blog time once again, and this time for humor once again I turn to my notes from Prof. Strentz's J-Law Class, which should tell you a little something about how much I'm actually learning in class. Today, however we were thrown a nice little tidbit that isn't quite worthy of a one-act play, but absolutely worthy of a quote.

STRENTZ: The reason the chapter on obscenity is short is because it either has to be short, or quite long.
KL casts a puzzled glance to WILL, who gestures for KL to calm down.

The reason I had to be calmed at this moment is actually quite unrelated, but is the reason why among the other doodlings in today's notes, Death (w/ scythe), a kitana and a blunt morning star appear. Story time:

So this morning I'm on the highway and I hit a construction zone. We've all been there before. Two lanes go down to one, so you sit in the non-closing lane and wait for traffic to move in front of you so you can go listen to Prof. Strentz and draw things and play dots and write down stupid things. Well, at least we can all relate to the first half.

Anyway, this morning as I was sitting at the spot where two lanes go down to one a man driving a van decided he needed to be first in line, got out of the lane, drove into the closing lane and tried to cut into line at full speed. And I decided I wouldn't get out of his way, cause being an asshole makes me want you to be gone faster, but it certainly doesn't make me sympathetic to your position. So, while they had the nose of their van stuck into my lane, I simply drove around them and tried to supress my laughter while the man driving the van and the woman in the passenger seat screamed things I couldn't hear in angry faces. The person behind me let them in and they tailgated me all the way down the highway and followed me to my parking place on Cottage Grove.

I was already running late so before they got out of the van I grabbed my backpack and started walking towards school. At this point I saw a rock go over my left shoulder. And I took out my cell phone and asked if they'd like to know who the police thought was at fault. The guy got back into his van and sped off before I could read his license plate. But I'll know him if I see him again. Oh yes. And next time the day will be mine.

So yeah, that made me a little angry. I had some shaky hands for a little while in class...the Death I drew shows it.

Aside from that, things are good. And I'm going to go back to playing Pirates now.

Subsiding rage concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Ok, I don't have an awful lot of time but it's been a long time since I've updated and my creative stream overflowed today, causing all the sewage to flow away and good things to come out of it for once.

The soundtrack for today's blog is available in just about any computer lab in America. It's a printer hum. If you need lyrics, here they are:

Bsssssshhhhhwhiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrr.....shshshshshsh.....whIIIIIiiiirrr....

Those of you who read my AIM profile are no doubt familiar with my One Act Plays. I've decided to start keeping them here instead because A) I can send anyone to read them here and B) I'll be able to save the old ones instead of deleting them when I write the new one. Maybe someday I'll use the old ones to write "KL Snow's Book O' One Act Plays" or something.

However, I should warn ye, I been playin a lot o' Puzzle Pirates lately, so if I slip into pirate tone, be not alarmed, I say. In fact, go play some Puzzle Pirates yeself at puzzlepirates.com. I'm still undefeated in battle. I got up early this morning just to play, if that tells ye anything about how good it be.

Anyway, on to the new One Act play:

KL sits bored in class, playing dots with EMERIC while PROF. STRENTZ lectures. WILL is strangely absent, his seat is empty and GIRL WE DON'T KNOW is in the next seat down. PROF. STRENTZ calls on KL for information KL possibly should have known but obviously lacks.

STRENTZ: I emailed you about it, don't you check your email?
KL: My Drake mail?
STRENTZ: Uh-huh.
KL: No.
STRENTZ: Oh. I'll send your grade there too. It'll be a surprise.

And, for the first time ever in a KL Snow one act play, it's...
ACT TWO!

KL and EMERIC are still playing dots. EMERIC has recently announced his campaign for student body president. KL tallies the score.

KL: Me, 16, you, 33.
KL shakes hands with EMERIC.
KL: You've got my vote.

I really think dots is the best way to choose your elected officials who don't have the capability to send you to war.

Finally, today's most recent idea is a new board game titled, "The Game is A Foot." The board would be, you guessed it, a large foot, with five paths running from a start point near the ankle to toenails. Each player starts on a different toenail, and the race is on back towards the ankle. Once players reach the ankle, they receive a toenail clipper. They then have to take the clipper to a toenail without having it stolen away by another player. After using the clipper on a toenail, the player will again go back to the ankle and receive another clipper. All the while they must avoid spaces saying things like, "Blister: Lose a turn" and aim for spaces like "Buy new shoes: Roll again." I think it has potential. One could even say the idea has legs.

And with that bad pun, I'm off.

Humor concludes. This has been KL Snow.