Friday, July 01, 2005

A funny exchange from this evening, which ties in with this post:

Kati: and i still have all the dried out roses
TheEvilKL: dried out roses are creepy.
Kati: i love them
TheEvilKL: When I buy a girl roses, it's because I want her to enjoy their beauty, not because I want her to slowly watch them die and then display the corpse.

Where else in life is this acceptable? In absolutely no other situation is it acceptable to give something that's dying as a gift. If I give you a fish, I'm really supposed to give you a fishbowl, or at least something with water in it, like a hollowed out skull. Flowers? Nope. I'm supposed to give you flowers with a vase or something, something to keep them from tipping over as they slowly but surely begin the process of rotting. It's the plant version of giving someone a recently removed finger.

And now, an all new one act play by KL Snow!

KL usually disc golfs in the morning with friends, but after hard days at work he'll go do it by himself, just to clear his head. Today, he got to the first hole. ASSHOLE was there, just standing around.

KL walks up to the first tee.
ASSHOLE: Excuse me, I was here first.
KL: I'm sorry, I thought you were waiting for someone.
ASSHOLE walks up to the tee, pulls a disc out of his disc golf purse, and throws. Then he stands there at stares at the disc for a long time.
ASSHOLE pulls a second disc out of his disc golf purse, winds up, and throws again, landing the second disc about two feet away from the first disc.
KL is getting restless.
ASSHOLE pulls yet another disc out of his fucking disc golf purse, winds and throws. The throw goes wide and skips across the road.
KL tries and fails to supress a chuckle.
ASSHOLE glares.
ASSHOLE pulls a FOURTH driver out of his fucking goddamn disc golf purse (which is on wheels for days when he's too fucking lazy to carry it), winds, and throws it over a tall chain link fence. He pulls out the handle on his pansy-ass purse, wheels it to the fence and tries to climb over a couple of times and fails, before he finally gets a foothold, vaults over the fence and lands on his ass on the other side.
In the meantime, KL plays through.

Moral of the story: One mulligan is allowed. Playing four discs at a time means I'll laugh if you suck.

This has been KL Snow.

No comments: