Saturday, June 18, 2005

A Stupidity Timeline
by KL Snow

Wednesday, early afternoon: KL is struggling through the afternoon of the third consecutive "canvass all morning, office all afternoon" weekday. These days aren't that bad when I have something to do to prevent boredom from killing me in the afternoon. On this particular day, I'm helping Leonard search for a dead possum in our air ducts. Everyone knows someone like Leonard. Leonard is harsh, abrasive, knows everything, verbally abuses everyone, and is only kept alive because sometimes you need someone to get a dead possum out of your air ducts. Actually, most people probably never need a dead possum removed from their airducts. So why do we leave the Leonards of the world alive? The jury is out.

Wednesday, mid afternoon: KL gets an e-mail from, of all people, his former pirate crew. The e-mail is to inform him of an upcoming pirate "wedding," between two former crewmates. KL knows the girl well, and knows the guy a little bit. He has forgotten, however, how dedicated full-time pirates are to their game and the attached life.

Wednesday, late afternoon: KL leaves work and comes home, and decides to re-subscribe and play some pirates, if for no other reason than to talk to the girl he used to know. KL gets immediately sucked into the politics of the game again.

Wednesday, 11 pm: KL hasn't left his computer since late afternoon. He calls it a night. He's expressed his interest in talking to the bride a couple of times, and assumes someone will let her know at some point.

Thursday morning: KL is given the morning off from canvassing, and plays Pirates for 4 more hours. Still no bride. Rumors had been started that KL had come back to "interfere" with the wedding. KL assures the groom that his intentions are not nearly that malicious.

Thursday afternoon: Work.

Thursday evening: KL goes out to a bar to meet a political group, has too much to drink.

Late Thursday evening: KL comes home drunk, turns on Pirates and is confronted by his former captain, asking why he wants to talk to the bride. The former captain appears jealous, angry, and all in all grumpy. Few words are exchanged, and being mildly tipsy, KL leaves her to judge him by herself.

Friday afternoon: Work.

Friday evening: KL goes online briefly and in confronted with a fabricated "chat log" produced by his former captain, detailing his intentions to ruin the wedding, steal the bride, and use her as his second girlfriend. Less than 3 full days after returning, KL is forced to leave his crew. He joins a new crew, sails for a little while, then turns the game off, and uninstalls it.

Today, I can't help but feel like that whole process, from Wednesday to last night, was just tremendously stupid. I've got considerably bigger fish to fry.

I'd like to hope "stupidity concludes."
This has been KL Snow.


Uncle Zoolito's Niece said...

You should now go on and ruin the wedding, if for no other reason, sheer fun!

Rehaber said...

Enjoyed your article on Arky Vaughan in the Baseball Almc.