Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy VD Day

So most of you are probably new readers to my blog since last Valentine's Day, so you don't realize that hate isn't a strong enough word for how I feel about Valentine's Day. Just to give you a little taste, here's what I posted last year...

A quick take on something I hate.

I hate Valentine's Day. Hate hate hate. When I was single, I was convinced it was created and perpetuated to increase the suicide rate among single people. Now, as someone who's taken, I see it as an increasingly unnecessary reminder that I need to pamper someone. Here's a quick one act play to show what I'm talking about.

CONSUMATE PROFESSIONAL CHRISTOPHER PARRISH (CP) is on a couch next to another couch seating KL and LAURA at his house.

CP: So what are you guys doing for Valentine's Day?
KL: I have class from 12:30-9, so we're going out to dinner Tuesday night.
CP: I see. I have to make dinner.
KL: If I made dinner on Valentine's Day, it'd be just like every other day.

Before Laura, I had been single on every Valentine's Day of my life. I had taken a couple of opportunities to perhaps try to find someone on Valentine's Day, hoping they'd be similarly struck by society pressing on them to find someone, but had no luck. But I don't just hate the holiday because it's been nasty to me. I hate the holiday because it's an awful concept.

If you love someone, you shouldn't need a goddamn holiday to show it. Some of us do on a day to day basis what other's would never consider doing, even on Valentine's Day. Then we're expected to go above and beyond that, because it's a freakin holiday. It's a shitty, lamentable holiday forcing some people to do what they should be doing anyway and forcing others to sit in a dark corner and have it rubbed in their faces that they don't have anyone to do that for.

So with that said, just so you can maybe get a snicker out of my rage, let's see the messages we're sending with our Valentine's Day gifts:

Flowers say "I love you enough to give you something I removed from the Earth just so you could watch it die slowly."

Chocolates say "I love you enough that I don't care if, in a moment of weakness, you decide to eat the whole goddamn box and have to spend your rent money buying new clothes."

Stuffed animals say "I love you enough that I got you a warm fuzzy object so you'll still have something to cuddle with when I need to be somewhere else cause you're driving me insane."

Dinner, professional massages or trips to a day spa say "I love you but I'm sick of having to pamper/cook for/take care of you myself, so I'm paying someone else to do it."

And of course, gift certificates say "I love you but I stand absolutely no chance of actually figuring out what you want by myself."

This has been KL Snow. I promise I'll be in a better mood after this is over.

So if anyone out there was hoping for flowers from me, sorry. I don't usually buy things for people so they can watch them die.



John said...

Love stinks
yeah yeah
love stinks

Gradual Dazzle said...

I actually agree with you... but I tend to go it even further by hating all "holidays." I prefer to be like the person in Romans 14 who "esteems all days alike." I don't find it necessary to have a special day set aside to remind me of something or other.

Unfortunately, I have a lot of people around me (kids, my mom) with expectations. I haven't quite been able to convince them that it's much better just to buy what you need when you need it instead of waiting for some big day and hoping to heaven that you get that one big thing from so-and-so, and then standing in line trying to get rid of that big thing that so-and-so actually DID get you that you find hideous and objectionable.

Ugh, that was way longer than it should've been... sorry. LOL :)

noneed4thneed said...

The Daily Show had a segment on the War on St. Valentines Day. It was really hilarious. People like you, further perpetuate the disgust against the once great St. Valentine. Just kidding. Check out the segment when it is replayed tomorrow if you can.

Chelsea said...

Wow. Who knew anyone even cared?