Just something quick and fun...


How evil are you?

Recipe:

Chicken Salad from Chicken Shit
by KL Snow

Step 1: Get shit on.
I attended my first class today on "The Iowa Environment," the last science class I'll ever have to take. First step, was of course, to introduce ourselves, and tell something interesting. I mentioned Snowbaseball.com and the new Snow Index and drew some minor interest from one of the professors (yes, this class has two professors). But there was a problem. You see, the Iowa Environment requires a lab, which is only offered two times. I had class both of those times. So after class I spoke with the professors, who recommended I drop the class. That couldn't happen. You see, I'm taking 18 credits, and to graduate I need 18 credits.

Step 2: Find someone who wants shit.
The professor who was intrigued by the Snow Index works in the math department, and was greatly interested in seeing how it works. He arranged a meeting for half an hour after class to discuss it, and the lab problem.

Step 3: Trade for Chicken Salad.
The professor was greatly intrigued by the Snow Index and what I've done with it, and offered me an independent study, consisting of...

3 papers, 5-10 pages
weekly meetings to discuss my findings
1 baseball lecture at the end of the semester, given by...KL Snow. :-)

So let's summarize. I'm losing a class called "Religion in Politics," which one fellow student told me would be "the hardest class you'll ever take." I'm gaining:

1 more morning a week where I can sleep in
A math professor to help me work on the Snow Index
The opportunity to give a lecture, on baseball, to faculty, friends and potentially baseball executives.

Exit chicken shit, enter chicken salad. Gold-plated chicken salad.
This has been KL Snow

Just something that occured to me today...

Here's an All New One Act Play by KL Snow, not new in that it just happened, but new in that I thought about it again today.

KL is running errands on the day before Election Day with AMY, one of my supervisors and friends with the Democratic Party. AMY was beautiful, smart and funny...I haven't seen her since the day after Election Day, but that's besides the point. Anyway, on this day, AMY and I were at HyVee in a series of errands, when AMY remembered she needed a pack of cigarettes. Then, while checking out, she remembered she needed a lighter too.

AMY: I need a lighter, do you see any?
KL spots a rack of lighters and points to it.
AMY: Can you grab me one?
KL wanders over and arbitrarily picks out a yellow lighter. He comes back and hands it to AMY.
AMY: A yellow one? You know they're bad luck, right? Although I've also heard that black ones are bad luck, and red ones...
KL: I think it's possible that smoking is bad luck.
AMY laughs.

Admittedly, I made a good joke in this case. But do you ever wonder what would have happened if in that one moment of truth you had arbitrarily picked the blue lighter? Yeah, me too.

This has been KL Snow.

I cried a little bit today.

Admittedly, I only review games when I have a bad experience. TMNT 2 entertained me for a couple of weeks, at least. Zelda: Four Swords was the first Zelda game I've ever been completely unable to put down. You didn't hear about either of those. I hated Donkey Konga, and you got pages about that. So yeah, sometimes I'm too negative.

I had a bad experience of a new kind today. You see, I've picked up a new addiction: Flipwords. You can play it at Yahoo, but to get the full experience you have to download it. The demo is 60 minutes long. I thought, "I can get a good fix in 60 minutes and then decide if I want it."

I started playing, and I got on a roll. You see, I'm good at word games. I'm really good at Wheel of Fortune and Boggle, and as luck would have it, this is almost a cross between the two. So I got on a roll. Last night I played online and lost in round 7. Today, I was rolling. Laura saved me from certain death one time around level 12, but I had pressed on, each level expecting death and miraculously surviving because of a well placed letter or free vowel, and made level 26.

Visions of high score graphics danced in my head. But the magic phrase for level 26 wouldn't come to me. Finally, with 1 turn remaining, I figured it out. I went to type it in...

And my demo ended. I screamed. A screen came up telling me to purchase the game for $19.95. I didn't even think about it. I paid. (Couldn't find a way to crack it.) After credit card information, etc, I went back to the game. A window popped up saying "Thanks for purchasing." Then it closed. And my score was gone. GONE.

I cried a little bit today.
This has been KL Snow.

EDIT: It's now Saturday, and in my third full try at the game, I reached level 31, where the phrase which stumped me was "Bubble Milk Tea." I don't know what Bubble Milk Tea is. But my score was the 445th best...of the last 24 hours. I will find you, top 10 score. And when I do, it'll say "KL" there.

Hey everybody!

(This is where you say "Hi Dr. KL!")

I had a weird night of dreams last night. First, I was captured and enslaved by weird triceratops-lookin creatures, and when I tried to escape they incinerated me.

Then, Wal Mart started on fire and I ran into a (strangely uninhabited) gym type building where I followed a man in a dark robe who turned around to see me, turned out to be death, and chased me for a long time before I stole away his scythe, used the blunt end to poke him in the face, and started to run before he touched me and I froze.

The third dream, finally, didn't end with me dying. When I woke up, I was completely amused by the way it turned out, so I e-mailed it to the other person I knew in the dream, Shawn Umland, a former teacher of mine, WIAA licensed basketball official, and all-around good guy, cause I thought he'd get a laugh out of it. I apologize for the sentence structure, grammatical issues and rambling nature, I wrote it immediately after waking up from the dream. But I thought I'd share the e-mail I sent him here:

Hey Shawn,



Don't mean to bug you, but I've gotta tell you about

the dream I had last night. I was playing basketball

for Lakeland, by some bizarre occurence...basically

just trying to stay out of the way of people who knew

what they were doing. Time was running out and we were

winning, though, so I took a three, and one of the

defenders pulled me down by my arm. So I turned around

and yelled at you, "Where's the foul?" And you T'd me

up.



Thought you'd be amused. :-) See you Wednesday.

That's all for now. This has been KL Snow.

EDIT: Oh, and one other thing:

What Kind of Geek are You?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
Your IQ is	very high
You are a	word nerd
Your strength is	you never need to sleep
Your weakness is	chocolate
You think normal people are	aliens
Normal people think that you are	satanic
This QuickKwiz by owlsamantha - Taken 164678 Times.

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