Non-OINK:

Whoever told me "Love is having someone to share your dreams with," probably didn't have this in mind:

AN ALL NEW ONE ACT PLAY BY KL SNOW!

KL and LAURA just woke up, and are getting dressed.
LAURA: You definitely talked in your sleep last night.
KL: When?
LAURA: I don't know.
KL: Was it before or after I got up to check my e-mail?
LAURA thinks for a second.
LAURA: After.
KL: OK. Cause before I got up, I had a dream I was watching Larry King, and he was doing a phone debate with a Republican and a Democrat, and the Republican wouldn't shut up, and was talking over people and going on and on, and finally Larry King hung up on him. I can see talking in my sleep on that one, cause I was shouting at the TV.
LAURA stares blankly.
KL: But after I came back, I dreamt I bought snails for the fishtank, so that must've been it.
LAURA: Wow, those are some boring dreams.

This is the part where being a political madman comes in. After the Larry King dream, I woke up all tense, like something was wrong. I had to get up, check the apartment, check my e-mail, and pee before I could go back to sleep.

Side note: this post over at Big Cheese Press is absolutely hilarious. Would I think it was funny if I was a Republican? Maybe not as funny, but yes. Still funny.

KL

Update: I just remembered one more dream. It was Christmas break from college, but for some reason, one of my fellow staff members was in college with me. He knew I was going home for Christmas, and wanted me to give him a ride on the way. Not knowing where I was going, I agreed. He printed off maps and stuff for me, and I was almost home when I realized I still had him in the car. So I asked him where exactly I was taking him again, and he reminded me: "Bolivia." If that's not a metaphor for my job lately...