I need a new idol.

I came to this realization years ago, but it really came to a head over the weekend. You see, my idol for years has been Mick Foley. Whether he was the badass Cactus Jack, the crazy Mankind, the somewhat out of place Dude Love, or later the goofy Commissioner Foley, I ate it up. He was funny, he was tough, he was what I wanted to be, both as a wrestler, a best selling author, and a person. He was just an all around cool dude.

Then he retired. And un-retired. And retired. And un-retired. The problem is, wrestlers never un-retire to make another championship run. They un-retire because they were offered a bunch of money to get thrown down a flight of stairs by someone who wouldn't have been qualified to wrestle in the same building with them years earlier. They un-retire to make a quick buck by screwing over the reputation they spent years building.

Mick Foley has hit that point, run over it and kept going. Saturday night I got a phone call from Laura. Here's the quick version:

LAURA: There's a car show in Green Bay next weekend, you know who's going to be there?
KL: Who?
LAURA: Mick Foley. Wanna go see him?
KL: I really wish he'd stop showing up every time someone offers him 5 bucks.

I'd have driven to Green Bay 5 years ago to see him. Now, I think I'd cry if I saw him doing this. My idol has gone from being my hero to using his quasi-celebrity status to work the car show circuit. And I need a new idol. Any suggestions?

This has been KL Snow.

Here's a One Act Play that's going to eat at my brain for a while:

KL and Laura are in the apartment, KL is preparing to make dinner, and goes over to Laura's desk to see what she's doing. She's discussing my desire to not have children with an ex boyfriend. The following statement ensues:

LAURA: I still think that if I just stopped taking the pill, and a little while later there was a baby, you'd like it.

That's gonna haunt me for a while.

This has been KL Snow.

Ok, news flash.

The world around me, and unless you're from somewhere else, the world around you, is STUPID.

Back to back cases in point.

I was home tonight and I was bored. So bored I decided to go into the gym to work out on what would normally be an off day for me. I should've recognized this as a bad omen.

I got to the gym and got on the elliptical machine, which normally beats the crap out of me for about 40 minutes, before I go let weights beat the crap out of me some more. Normally I listen to a CD during this time. Tonight my CD was skipping. I should've recognized this as a bad omen.

But instead, I changed the channel on my headphones and started listening to CNN. Yes, that's right, CNN, a primary source of news and informed debate in our country. Sometimes. But not tonight. Tonight, there was a debate taking place. A debate between a congressman and a housewife. The topic, you ask? Start times of movies. Yes, that's right. The housewife was angry and thought a law should be made forcing theaters to start movies at their advertised time, with no previews. This woman apparently has nothing more important in her life than this matter.

I got off the machine. There was no way I could have stayed on the machine and not hurt myself while listening to this debate. Stupidity on this level throws me into rage of Lewis Black proportions. So I went to the locker room, changed clothes, got in my car, and did what I always do when I see something stupid: I called Ryan. Ryan is either the person who always gives me a sympathy laugh whether I'm funny or not or the person with the sense of humor most similar to mine, I'm not sure which. Anyway, I vented at Ryan, Ryan laughed, and I was starting to feel better when I got home. Until I checked my e-mail and found this, from Ticketmaster.

"Don't miss Aaron Carter." Yes, Ticketmaster, which has sold me exactly one ticket in my life, sent me an e-mail to let me know that Aaron Carter will be performing in West Des Moines, on Friday the 22nd of April. Aaron Carter is the musical equivalent of having a live grenade shoved up your ass. Thank you Ticketmaster, and thank you CNN, two prominent entities in a world around me which is inherently STUPID.

This has been KL Snow.