It's a momentous day, and the big news comes first:

I don't work at Wal Mart anymore. It's incredibly liberating to be free. I'm also broke, so if you're hiring...I'm listening. But I finally hit the point today where it had to end. I was going to get fired on Thursday for unexcused absences I got excused 3 months ago. So I decided to bring it all back to the present and quit today.

Furthermore, there has not yet been a post since my party Friday night, which I trust you all either enjoyed or missed entirely. I've decided, in place of writing an actual "who did what" party review that would get entirely skimmed over by most, I'm going to assign selected party-attendees titles, based on their actions at my party:

J.D. Fox: Crown Prince of the Ones and Twos, Micro Machines Grand Champion
Travis Monroe: Shrubbery irrigation specialist
Ryan Haasl: Chief assistant, alcohol acquisition.
Bridget (sorry, don't know your last name): Saint in charge of making sure Travis got home.
Laura McDonald: Winner of the 2005 "I hardly stayed long enough for you to know I was here" award.

To those of you who didn't make the list of titles, I'm sorry. Try again next time.

Finally, before I get to today's fun blog game, here's a quick movie review, as written by my new alter ego, Linkoman:

On Saturday, Ryan, Tara, Laura and I rented Owning Mahowny, because I liked Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Lester Bangs in Almost Famous. However, Ryan pointed out that Lester Bangs is the only Phillip Seymour Hoffman character that isn't really Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I didn't like the movie much.

Finally, here's one of those fun games with the questions no one really ever asks you, but you post the info anyway on the hopes someone will want to know.

3 names you go by:
Kyle, KL, Snowy

3 screennames you have:
TheEvilKL (AIM), KL4ever.rm (Yahoo), 34206774 (ICQ)

3 things you like about yourself:
I'm goofy, I wear sunglasses and I don't work at Wal Mart anymore.

3 things you hate/dislike about yourself:
I allowed myself to settle into a Wal Mart job for 8 months. I have a belly that won't go away. My wild and loose sense of humor causes me to insult people when I think I'm on a roll.

3 parts of your heritage:
My first baseball game was in Milwaukee
My first baseball job was in Missoula, Montana
My first playoff baseball game was in Cedar Rapids.

3 things that scare you:
The prospect of not being able to save my loved ones from whatever may harm them, dying alone, and Dick Cheney

3 of your everyday essentials:
Baseball, meat, caffeine

3 things you are wearing right now:
EVIL T-shirt, my watch, and boxers that glow in the dark.

3 of your favorite bands/artists:
They Might Be Giants, REM, Barenaked Ladies

3 of your favorite songs at present:
TMBG - Birdhouse in Your Soul
Scotty D - Drop the Bomb (we dance danced at my party and it's been in my head ever since)
Counting Crows - Mr. Jones

<>3 things you want to try in the next 12 months:
Landing (and keeping) a job in baseball
Working a political campaign that doesn't involve the Presidency
More baseball parks I haven't seen. :)

3 things you want in a relationship:
reliability, love, honesty

2 truths and a lie:
I dislocated my finger punching a brick wall this week.
I've got 12 pages written of a paper that was supposed to be 5-10 pages.
I'll probably play baseball again someday.

3 physical things about the opposite/same sex that appeal to you:
Eyes
Body
A noticeable lack of mental vacancy.

3 things you just can't do:
Give birth
Stick to a promise to write every day
Ignore bad grammar

3 of your favorite hobbies:
Video games
Reading
Im'ing
(Baseball doesn't count, anything that occupies that much of your time is an addiction.)

3 things you want to do really bad right now:
Eat
Get in a fight
Turn the page on my calendar

3 careers you're considering:
General Manager
Play-by-play announcer
Baseball writer

3 places you want to go on vacation:
Fenway Park
Cooperstown
I think my planned Tennessee trip this summer fits in here.

3 kid names:
I don't name children, I eat them.

3 things you want to do before you die:
Live a long time
Get a puppy
blow on Laura's belly (done!)

This has been KL Snow.

A quick take on something I hate.

I hate Valentine's Day. Hate hate hate. When I was single, I was convinced it was created and perpetuated to increase the suicide rate among single people. Now, as someone who's taken, I see it as an increasingly unnecessary reminder that I need to pamper someone. Here's a quick one act play to show what I'm talking about.

CONSUMATE PROFESSIONAL CHRISTOPHER PARRISH (CP) is on a couch next to another couch seating KL and LAURA at his house.

CP: So what are you guys doing for Valentine's Day?
KL: I have class from 12:30-9, so we're going out to dinner Tuesday night.
CP: I see. I have to make dinner.
KL: If I made dinner on Valentine's Day, it'd be just like every other day.

Before Laura, I had been single on every Valentine's Day of my life. I had taken a couple of opportunities to perhaps try to find someone on Valentine's Day, hoping they'd be similarly struck by society pressing on them to find someone, but had no luck. But I don't just hate the holiday because it's been nasty to me. I hate the holiday because it's an awful concept.

If you love someone, you shouldn't need a goddamn holiday to show it. Some of us do on a day to day basis what others would never consider doing, even on Valentine's Day. Then we're expected to go above and beyond that, because it's a freakin holiday. It's a shitty, lamentable holiday forcing some people to do what they should be doing anyway and forcing others to sit in a dark corner and have it rubbed in their faces that they don't have anyone to do that for.

So with that said, just so you can maybe get a snicker out of my rage, let's see the messages we're sending with our Valentine's Day gifts:

Flowers say "I love you enough to give you something I removed from the Earth just so you could watch it die slowly."

Chocolates say "I love you enough that I don't care if, in a moment of weakness, you decide to eat the whole goddamn box and have to spend your rent money buying new clothes."

Stuffed animals say "I love you enough that I got you a warm fuzzy object so you'll still have something to cuddle with when I need to be somewhere else cause you're driving me insane."

Dinner, professional massages or trips to a day spa say "I love you but I'm sick of having to pamper/cook for/take care of you myself, so I'm paying someone else to do it."

And of course, gift certificates say "I love you but I stand absolutely no chance of actually figuring out what you want by myself."

This has been KL Snow. I promise I'll be in a better mood after this is over.

I'm grumpy lately, and not for reasons I'm completely comfortable explaining to lots of people. But I'm seriously grumpy, so grumpy that Laura asked me today "Is it your time of the month?"

But since I'm not completely comfortable describing my real problem, here's what I've decided to do. I've created, in my head, a fictional problem. And I've created a fictional character, thus far unnamed, to deal with said problem. Here's what he'd say, faced with a problem not at all similar to my problem, in his way which is not all that similar to mine.

"You seem to think you belong in my world.
You seem to think you're strong enough, fast enough and smart enough to compete on my level.
But I know something you don't; you're not man enough.
You're scared, and if you're not, you should be.
Doing what you do has become a hobby. Being a thorn in my side has become your pastime. Some people play tennis, you irritate me.
But while you're dabbling in irritation, I'm making my life's work out of the dismantling of souls like yours.
So come stand toe to toe with me now, if you want. But make sure you're ready. Cause your life is headed for a permanent change. You'll never see a challenge the same way again."

This has been KL Snow.

Ok, here's a blog game for you all to play, on my blog, therefore making me feel popular and driving my self-esteem through the roof while you all think I'm witty and clever.

Ok, that's a best case scenario. Probably not really going to happen. Maybe I should've changed that first sentence to "Here's some shit to do if you really care to blow the time on it."

We've all seen the game on other people's blogs, post your name and the blog author will write their honest feelings about you. I'm not into feelings, and I certainly don't need everyone on Earth knowing what I honestly think about them. But I will play a similar game.

Post your name, height and weight (lie about the weight if you have to), and I'll write your scouting report. I'll be honest and truthful in some of it, perhaps downright flattering in some of it, and perhaps utterly ridiculous in most of it. It'll give you something do for a little while, y'know, if you're bored.

Post away.

This has been, and presumably will continue to be, KL Snow.