The Sandwich Saga, Part 1:
In the absence of a God to handle all my cares, worries and concerns, I've decided to make a ham sandwich. That ham sandwich can be my personal scapegoat:
"It didn't work out because it wasn't the ham sandwich's will."
"I felt weak, but then I realized the ham sandiwich was with me."
And my comfort:
"The ham sandwich will make it all work out."
It's a very liberating ham sandwich. And I'll go to war with you if you question it.