Ok, it's been a while, so without further ado, here is...

A NEW ONE ACT PLAY BY KL SNOW!

KL and LAURA are in the car, KL is driving. Heavy rain is falling. They pull up to an intersection and stop at a red light. LAURA looks out the window.

LAURA: What're you looking at? Yeah, that's right, you'd better look away.
KL (puzzled, looks over): What're you talking to?
LAURA points at a robin that was staring at her.

AND NOW: ACT TWO!

Approximately three seconds later, LAURA'S mood has completely swung.

LAURA (in "oh look at that cute thing" voice): Look at the poor thing, it's all cold and stuff.
(The light turns green and KL continues to drive, dumbfounded.)
LAURA: What?
KL: I still can't believe you were talking trash to a bird.

Maybe you had to be there.

Anyway, let's see what else is new...

First off, the big news. I interviewed on Monday for a job with the Missoula Osprey of the Pioneer League (Rookie). It was most certainly a cause for celebration. I interviewed well and so now i'm carrying my cell phone everywhere waiting for a call back. Don't even think about calling to freak me out...I'll hurt you. But there's gonna be a massive party if I get this job. And if I have to spend the summer in Missoula, Montana, 1400 miles away from home, at least some of you Bloggamaniacs have gotta come visit me.

Beyond that, not a lot is new. I'm tired today, I think I'm going to go hunt down and consume some caffeine before my Econ test. Perhaps I'll blog atcha later when I'm supposed to be working on Philosophy.

Ramble concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Ok, I'm back from Florida, and I've got lots and lots of stuff for you. Before I left I promised lots of people a live diary from Florida, and I kept it up for a couple of days before I stopped having time to just sit down and write. Here are the first couple entries.

Entry 1:
7:30 PM Monday, Departing Chicago

It'll take less than two hours to reach Orlando. That blows my mind. It takes me more time to sit through my Modern Philosophy class. Maybe if we took Prof. Knepper on a plane, let him lecture and we landed in a new city when it was over, I'd go to class more often.

I let Laura read that first paragraph, figuring it'd be good for a laugh. I ended up having to read it to her, she can't decode my handwriting. I guess now I can write whatever I want. Seriously, though, it's great to have Laura along on this trip. I hadn't been on an airplane since I was 12, and without her dragging me through the airport I may not have made it to my plane today. Without Laura's contant encouragement a few months ago this trip probably never would have gotten planned and probably just would've stayed as one of those things I always talk about doing. And on top of all that, without Laura today I probably would have gone to jail.

You see, today didn't have history's greatest start. We decided to leave early for the airport, and somehow our timing was just perfect so that when a guy in a truck decided to make a left turn despite the fact that he couldn't see if anyone was coming, I was right there to hit him. It was a minor fender bender (literally, here's a picture of the damage http://www.snowbaseball.com/graphics/Car1.jpg behind the headlight) but before I thought to call the police, the guy had driven off. The first thing Laura did at the accident scene was to grab me as I was getting out of the car and pull me back in to make sure I wasn't going to kill the guy...and that was the first time I realized killing him wasn't such an exceptional idea.

But it evened out, cause she got to laugh at me when I wasn't smart enough to empty my pockets at airport security and ended up getting wanded.

Here's an airplane thing I'll never understand. I've been on two planes today, and on both, the captain has told us it was ok to take off our seat belts and move around, but if we wished to stay in our seats we needed to keep our seat belts on "in case we experience some unexpected turbulence along the way." So basically, what he's saying is "We may experience turbulence rough enough to throw you out of your seat, but if you're not in your seat, you're screwed and we're just gonna let you flop around. Feel free to get up, though."

It hasn't happened yet, but the point where I forgot something critically important will almost certainly come. At that point I'll probably want a list of things I did remember, to point back to. Let's make that list now.

Tickets to 4 baseball games
Excedrin (Hurricurbstompers, actually)
PEZ
my glasses
two pairs of sunglasses
one baseball book
two Dragonalnce books
clothes
driving directions to our rental car, and all four baseball parks

I'll add an entry as soon as my obvious oversight presents itself. But for now, it's back to my reading.

On a last note before I close the book, my car needs a flight attendant. If someone came up to me and gave
me Dew every so often in my car, I could drive forever.

And on another last note, I miss video games.

Tuesday, 10:25 am, Daytona Beach

Today's continuing theme: "We're in Florida." And that's going to sound really dumb unless you realize it's been a really long time since I've been on vacation, so I need to periodically remind myself. Every moment is special to me. So is every hot chick that walks by. Not counting Laura, we're at 2.

Right now I'm watching a pigeon dig in the sand. I think it's lost. (3)

The water isn't very warm. Laura and I got ankle deep before we decided that was enough (4) ocean for today. It's windy too (5), the seas are really rolling. (6)(7) It's just a little too cold to sit half naked. Not that that's stopping most people, just me and the hot chicks off to our left.

Some asshole just fed the seagulls behind us. Now they're everywhere. And the sun went away. Two cute girls sat near us but it was too cold to get naked. Not fair. I guess they still count, though. (8)(9)

I guess now would be a good time to look back on last night. Going back to Irene's house was no big adventure . . . baggage claim, pick up and the drive back all went reasonably well (10). Irene's house presented a dilemma, though. You see, there's a bit of a culture difference between Laura and I and Irene, who is older and retired. (11)(12) On a side note, I asked Laura if we could take 11 and 12 home with us, she declined.

Getting back to the previous subject, though, Irene drives slow. She drives a realtively small car and has a large dog that rides along everywhere. Ok, another side note: Going to the beach implies you will see certain things. One of those things is not a lemonade truck that drives between you and the water.

I'm going to finish my thought on Irene now, I promise. Laura and I hadn't even considered that Irene wouldn't know we usually sleep together. We got to Irene's house and found two twin beds in our room. And Irene's house is quiet as a tomb at night. (13)(14)(15) I'll leave you those problems to digest on your own.

I mentioned before that the ocean was cold. What I did not mention was that my feet got stuck in the sand and broke the flip flops I had been using as shower shoes since day one of college. It produced an early quote of the week contender: "I have felt the pull of the ocean. It broke my flip flops."

Sadly, that's the last non-baseball related journal entry I had time to make this week, but I'll run you through a quick "Greatest Hits" of the rest of the week now and link you to my pictures.

Tuesday we drove back from Daytona to Orlando, ate lunch at the biggest TGI Friday's I've ever seen and spent $110 to get into Universal Studios. I was a little skeptical about the ability of any amusement park to be worth $55 per person for 5 hours, but I'm not disappointed. Laura and I had this picture http://www.snowbaseball.com/graphics/Universal.jpg taken of us in front of the park.

Getting into the park was a funny story. You see, we were hoping to get a deal on tickets, so we stopped at one of the discount ticket places that appear everywhere in Orlando and got tickets. Anyway, the tickets had Laura's name on them. So when we got to the gates of the park, a solid 15-20 minute walk from where we parked, they asked for ID from Laura, who had left everything but her cash in the car. So Laura said no, she didn't have any ID. So the woman behind the counter asked if she had anything with her name on it, and again Laura said no. So the woman hid Laura's name on our ticket and asked me "What's her name?" When I responded correctly she let us in and prompted the other quote of the week candidate from Laura, "You're my thing with my name on it!"

We proceeded on to Nickelodeon Studios, which I guess actually was a disappointment. You see, there's a chance at Nickelodeon Studios to go sit in a TV studio and play games and stuff, but while we were there nothing was actually being taped. There was also the giant slime fountain you see on TV, but that was about it. Nothing was going on outside, and aside from the shows being put on you couldn't actually go inside. The Ren and Stimpy restroom sign, though, provided an excellent photo op. http://www.snowbaseball.com/graphics/KLRenandStimpy.jpg

On our first pass by the line to get into Shrek was too long, but we got this picture taken with him. http://www.snowbaseball.com/graphics/Shrek.jpg On a side note, Shrek put his arm around Laura and tried to push me away until he saw Laura start to glare at me, not knowing it was Shrek's fault, then he let me in.

We saw the Twister thingy...not really a ride, just kind of a demonstration of what happens in a tornado...waited a long time in line to watch a plastic cow fly by and see a gas tank start on fire...it was ok, but they over-hyped it. The whole show was only about a minute long.

When we came out of Twister, Beetlejuice was dancing in the street, by the firehouse from Ghostbusters. I'm still not sure how to react to that. Next was Jaws, and that was cool. I mean, it's a little cheesy, the shark is obviously fake, but you actually get to ride in a boat and stuff.

We waited a long time in line to get on Back to the Future, but it was well worth it, it was my favorite ride of the day. You actually ride in an eight person Delorean and chase the stolen Delorean around, and you crash into stuff and the car tilts all over the place, it's a good time. Here's me and Laura outside with the Delorean. http://www.snowbaseball.com/graphics/Delorean.jpg

On the way to E.T. we saw a banner with a weiner dog on it, and of course I had to have a picture. http://www.snowbaseball.com/graphics/WeinerDog.jpg

E.T. was cool, you ride bicycles through a big tunnel following ET back to his home planet so his healing touch can save it. A little cheesy but fun. I'm enjoying the rides where you get to ride on things. I think that's why I didn't like Twister. I just stood there and watched things.

Men In Black was a close second behind Back to the Future for best ride, you get to drive around and shoot at aliens. In the end you get a score and they show you your picture with everyone you rode with. I considered getting a copy of the picture, cause everyone in it looked goofy except for me, but decided against it, so sorry, no pic for you here.

At this point we had seen everything we wanted except for Shrek, so we decided to get in line and wait it out. Universal does one thing I really like and one I don't. First, every ride/show/whatever has a wait time listed outside. So when you get in line, you know about how long it's going to take. That's nice, cause we waited until the lines got shorter for a couple of things we wanted to see.

Here's what I don't like. Universal sells Express Passes for its rides. So if you have whiny kids or an inability to wait in line like the rest of us or feel that spending $55 to get into the park wasn't enough, you can buy Express passes and automatically go to the front of the line. But when the line for Shrek is 75 minutes long and I see the same people use Express passes to butt in line 3 times, it starts to bug me.

Anyway, we waited and I grumbled at people who snuck in front of us and finally got to see Shrek, which was pretty good. Not quite worth a 75 minute wait. but maybe a 45-60 minute wait. It was all done in 3D, and I didn't realize it when we sat down, but the chairs were set up to do things like bounce up and down, spray you with water when Donkey sneezes, and shoot cold air by your feet to make it feel like spiders are on the floor. Good times.

All in all Universal was good. They do a very good job of not just making it a park full of rides. There's cool stuff in between rides too. Like I mentioned before, when I was done trying to figure out why Beetlejuice was dancing in the streets, I noticed he was next to the house from Ghostbusters. Little things like that are cool.

That's about all my notes from Universal...we went out for dinner Tuesday night and spent all day Wednesday and Thursday at baseball parks (notes on that will appear at Snowbaseball.com sometime in the next few days).

Friday morning was rough...we had a 6:15 am flight out of Orlando, so we got up at 4:35 (3:35 Central time) to go to the airport...there was no Dew on the plane but that was the biggest issue. Aside from the fact that I was kinda tired and grumpy all day yesterday and got drunk on top of it last night. But there's my trip to Orlando. And like I said, the baseball part will be up on Snowbaseball sometime soon.

Way long post concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Ok, it's blog time once again, and this time for humor once again I turn to my notes from Prof. Strentz's J-Law Class, which should tell you a little something about how much I'm actually learning in class. Today, however we were thrown a nice little tidbit that isn't quite worthy of a one-act play, but absolutely worthy of a quote.

STRENTZ: The reason the chapter on obscenity is short is because it either has to be short, or quite long.
KL casts a puzzled glance to WILL, who gestures for KL to calm down.

The reason I had to be calmed at this moment is actually quite unrelated, but is the reason why among the other doodlings in today's notes, Death (w/ scythe), a kitana and a blunt morning star appear. Story time:

So this morning I'm on the highway and I hit a construction zone. We've all been there before. Two lanes go down to one, so you sit in the non-closing lane and wait for traffic to move in front of you so you can go listen to Prof. Strentz and draw things and play dots and write down stupid things. Well, at least we can all relate to the first half.

Anyway, this morning as I was sitting at the spot where two lanes go down to one a man driving a van decided he needed to be first in line, got out of the lane, drove into the closing lane and tried to cut into line at full speed. And I decided I wouldn't get out of his way, cause being an asshole makes me want you to be gone faster, but it certainly doesn't make me sympathetic to your position. So, while they had the nose of their van stuck into my lane, I simply drove around them and tried to supress my laughter while the man driving the van and the woman in the passenger seat screamed things I couldn't hear in angry faces. The person behind me let them in and they tailgated me all the way down the highway and followed me to my parking place on Cottage Grove.

I was already running late so before they got out of the van I grabbed my backpack and started walking towards school. At this point I saw a rock go over my left shoulder. And I took out my cell phone and asked if they'd like to know who the police thought was at fault. The guy got back into his van and sped off before I could read his license plate. But I'll know him if I see him again. Oh yes. And next time the day will be mine.

So yeah, that made me a little angry. I had some shaky hands for a little while in class...the Death I drew shows it.

Aside from that, things are good. And I'm going to go back to playing Pirates now.

Subsiding rage concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Ok, I don't have an awful lot of time but it's been a long time since I've updated and my creative stream overflowed today, causing all the sewage to flow away and good things to come out of it for once.

The soundtrack for today's blog is available in just about any computer lab in America. It's a printer hum. If you need lyrics, here they are:

Bsssssshhhhhwhiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrr.....shshshshshsh.....whIIIIIiiiirrr....

Those of you who read my AIM profile are no doubt familiar with my One Act Plays. I've decided to start keeping them here instead because A) I can send anyone to read them here and B) I'll be able to save the old ones instead of deleting them when I write the new one. Maybe someday I'll use the old ones to write "KL Snow's Book O' One Act Plays" or something.

However, I should warn ye, I been playin a lot o' Puzzle Pirates lately, so if I slip into pirate tone, be not alarmed, I say. In fact, go play some Puzzle Pirates yeself at puzzlepirates.com. I'm still undefeated in battle. I got up early this morning just to play, if that tells ye anything about how good it be.

Anyway, on to the new One Act play:

KL sits bored in class, playing dots with EMERIC while PROF. STRENTZ lectures. WILL is strangely absent, his seat is empty and GIRL WE DON'T KNOW is in the next seat down. PROF. STRENTZ calls on KL for information KL possibly should have known but obviously lacks.

STRENTZ: I emailed you about it, don't you check your email?
KL: My Drake mail?
STRENTZ: Uh-huh.
KL: No.
STRENTZ: Oh. I'll send your grade there too. It'll be a surprise.

And, for the first time ever in a KL Snow one act play, it's...
ACT TWO!

KL and EMERIC are still playing dots. EMERIC has recently announced his campaign for student body president. KL tallies the score.

KL: Me, 16, you, 33.
KL shakes hands with EMERIC.
KL: You've got my vote.

I really think dots is the best way to choose your elected officials who don't have the capability to send you to war.

Finally, today's most recent idea is a new board game titled, "The Game is A Foot." The board would be, you guessed it, a large foot, with five paths running from a start point near the ankle to toenails. Each player starts on a different toenail, and the race is on back towards the ankle. Once players reach the ankle, they receive a toenail clipper. They then have to take the clipper to a toenail without having it stolen away by another player. After using the clipper on a toenail, the player will again go back to the ankle and receive another clipper. All the while they must avoid spaces saying things like, "Blister: Lose a turn" and aim for spaces like "Buy new shoes: Roll again." I think it has potential. One could even say the idea has legs.

And with that bad pun, I'm off.

Humor concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Ah, life...

Life offers us lots of decisions and no way to know if we're making the right one until the day to make said decision is long past and we're either celebrating our successes or, more often, lamenting our failures. Case in point:

Someone, somewhere somehow, convinced John Leguizamo (I probably butchered the spelling, sorry) to play Luigi in the movie version of Super Mario Bros, a classic that I consider the single biggest name in video game history but an absolutely awful movie. John obviously had some other option to pursue when this movie presented itself to him, but he decided no, he'd rather play the part of an apprentice plumber who falls in love with a girl who hatched from an egg and was a descendent of reptiles.

And, of course, the very same movie features Dennis Hopper as the dreadful King Koopa, who really shows no signs of being a reptile, except of course for his blonde hair, which he keeps neatly bound in cornrows. This world has really done a poor job of exploring the possibility of turning its enemies into a fungus.

Moral of the story: Even successful people make really bad decisions. I'd say that's about it. I'm going to bed now.

Randomness concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Well, I don't have a lot of time right now, but here's what's up:

First day of classes today...it's really kinda sad that I went to my first one and then had the urge strike to skip the rest of them...I'm holding it off...for now.

Things on the home front are pretty good. Peace reigns in most of my relationships, so I've got that going for me, which is nice. (Caddyshack reference)

Tonight J.D. Fox and myself are calling the Drake women's basketball game against Illinois State, which probably doesn't interest anyone who regularly reads my blog, but it is a possibility to hear my voice for those of you who have not. You can check it out at drakebroadcasting.com . Gametime is at 7 for those of you within the Central Time Zone.

I was planning on trying to write something funny to put in here today cause my blog hasn't been very funny in a long time, but before I could do it Ryan came through in the clutch for me without even knowing I needed him to. He found something I wrote years ago, which he had for some reason saved all this time. Ryan, you're the man. Here they are, the rambling thoughts of the young mind of he who had not yet become KL Snow.

Oh before I start, this was Ryan's introduction to it:

This is from January 14th, 2000. It was in my saved
e-mail folder or something like that... the ramblings
of a yound klsnow... hahahaha
checkitoutcheckitoutcheckitoutcheckitoutcheckitout:

and now, here it is:

I don't think I've ever had as many strange thoughts
go through my mind in one day as I've had today. So I
thought I'd send them out to all of you, maybe you'll
be amused, maybe you'll just become convinced I'm
mentally ill, or maybe you deleted them in your inbox.
In any way, however you choose to use them, have fun,
and don't abuse warped thoughts, because for every
twisted thing you think, there's a twisted person
somewhere who happened to like that idea. :)

If I ever become immortal, I'm going to go lay down in
the middle of the interstate, and wait for someone to
hit me at about 100 MPH. Then, when they stop to see
what they hit, I'm going to jump up and ask them "Is
that all you've got?"

When the first caveman saw snow, I wonder what he
thought it was. Maybe he thought "Damn, I knew that
Head and Shoulders wouldn't work."

I hope primitive hunter-gatherer type people never
move into my front yard, because if they do, my weiner
dog doesn't stand much of a chance.

I wonder who was the first kid ever to get his eye
shot out by a BB gun he was too young to have.

If it's really cold outside, and you have a runny
nose, does your nose freeze solid?

I wonder what the first caveman ever to get his tongue
stuck to a flagpole thought.

I miss the days of the old west, when towns were few
and far between, and the buffalo could fly over the
rivers with their little wings, which we later
brutally tore off in the search for a good meal.

America creates 25% of the world's trash. What do all
the other countries do with their junk?

I wish Japanese-speaking people were subtitled in real
life, like they are in movies, so there would be one
less language in the world to learn.

If evolution is a natural process, with creatures
adapting to their surroundings to make life easier,
can we expect animals to be born with tank barrels
sticking out of their heads?

I wish I had man-eating sheep. No reason, I just wish
I did.

If radiation eventually causes all the fish to grow 3
eyes, will someone someday flip out because they
caught a fish with 4 eyes?

Cordless phones may be the greatest invention ever.
Now, not only can we avoid traveling by talking to
someone on the phone, we can take that phone with us,
and avoid traveling without ever getting out of bed.

Last year, I turned 16. I counted the days until I
turned 16, because I could get my license. Then I had
to wait until almost 2 months later to get it anyway.
I wonder if, when I turn 21, they'll make me wait
until July 1 to buy alcohol too.

Humor concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Hey, update on last night's post:

Things are better. I was a little drunk and more than a little paranoid when I wrote last night's post and it caused me to overreact to a few things. It's easy to be fearless when you've never been hit and you've never known pain...after you experience it a few times you move a little quicker to defend yourself. With that said, I'm sorry if I scared anyone or brought anyone down with that post. Things are better now.

I don't have a whole lot else to give today. So I guess I'll wrap it up.

This has been KL Snow.

I don't think I've posted since the New Year so now would probably be a good chance to say I don't know it's 2004 yet cause I didn't watch the Rose Bowl. So happy extended 2003.

With that said, for the most part the previous year's extension has been good to me. New Year's in Milwaukee was nice for the most part, the New Year's party I attended with Laura was a little weak but everything else we did was fun so it all evens out.

As it turns out Laura and I parted ways on Thursday afternoon and I turned around and drove back to Appleton to pick Laura up on Friday and took her to Minocqua. Our weekend at home was awesome, spent 2 days in town and really did nothing other than play with the puppy and hang out together...very relaxing and I'm very glad it worked out that way...sadly, I won't see Laura again til we're back in Des Moines, but at least we got to spend some time together before we had to part for a week.

And, as it turns out, it's also a really good thing I brought a friend home with me. Cause I found out I don't have nearly as many friends at home as I had previously counted on. Case in point:

I hadn't heard from anyone at home since before New Year's when Laura and I arrived in town on Friday night. But I wanted Laura to meet as many people as possible so I showed up Saturday night someplace where I assumed it'd be a safe bet people would be hanging out. What I found instead was a party. Talk about embarassing. I've been telling Laura for weeks about my friends at home and when I get home, and go to introduce her to them, I'm forced to admit that the people I've been talking about for weeks planned a going away party and DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING CALL ME. I'm not asking for anyone to drag me to this party or save me a seat or a slice of pizza but generally when you have friends, and they plan something, they make some effort to contact you. It was my last night in Minocqua and all of a sudden I was really happen to have someone else to spend it with. If any of you guys read this, which I'm almost sure you won't, thanks for the fair warning. I know now who I don't have to bother to call the next time I'm in town.

I'll be back in Des Moines on Wednesday night.

Rant concludes. This has been KL Snow.

Greetings from Vesper, WI, home of...well, damn near nothing at all.

But today it was the site of day 4 of the 4 days of Christmas. They went reasonably well...no notable disputes, one very largely notable victory.

I'm not going to bore you with general tales of what I got and who I saw...no one wants to read that. I'll tell you the happy stuff and the funny stuff and if you wanna know the rest, ask me.

Friday night I was going to go see Laura in Appleton, and Friday morning I was in Wal Mart in Rapids. I needed two things. I'm not going to specify these things, but let's just say that when I got up to the cashier, a cute girl, the items I was carrying screamed two things: 1) taken, and 2) whipped. And the cute girl behind the register asks me, "Can I come along?" People shouldn't do that to me in the hours before I have caffeine. She was a cute girl and I almost said yes on reflex. As it was, it's a good thing I just laughed, cause...

LAURA AND I ARE A COUPLE NOW!!! It makes me happy. :-) We confirmed it last night. And we're still a couple even though the silverware at Victoria's was smarter than I was.

I'm tired today. I fell asleep while opening presents on day 4 of the 4 days of Christmas. Five would be too much.

I drew a Ninja Turtle yesterday...working from a template, granted, but it is nonetheless a turtle and it looks good. Maybe I'll scan it when I return to the greater DSM area.

Other people are way funnier than me today. Go read something they wrote.

Today's Soundtrack is Rage Against the Machine - Renegades of Funk. I think this soundtrack thing is going to catch on. Today I was getting ready to update my blog and I thought, "Yeah, I could do that, but I really need music first."

So I'm not going to try to top yesterday's blog, which was, in my opinion, a blog classic, with this one. I, instead, am going to try to, through constant thought interruption, which I do quite frequently in the hours before caffeine, set a record for comma usage. That's 9, (now 10) and a new record for paragraph two! Woohoo!

So yeah. The mood is generally pretty good today. Last night also turned out to be a pretty good night and I think, finally, my big issue is close to being resolved. Today also begins the 4 Days of Christmas for me. In case you're playing along at home and want to know where I'm going to be for the next few days so you can move your miniature Kyle figure around on your old "Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego" gameboard, here's my schedule:

Today: Lunch with Chris and Jess
Tonight: Christmas with my mom (Minocqua, WI)
Tomorrow morning, 10 am: Depart Minocqua
Tomorrow, 12 or so: Arrive in Wisconsin Rapids, WI, celebrate Christmas with my dad and then later with my dad's family.
Friday: Early portion of day is open.
Friday: 6:15 pm: Depart Wisconsin Rapids
Friday: 8:00 pm: Pick Laura up from work in Appleton, WI. Christmas with Laura will ensue.
Saturday, 10:00 am at the latest: Depart Appleton, WI.
Saturday, 12 or so: Arrive in Vesper, WI for Christmas with my mom's family.

So yep, that covers it. Four Christmasses in four towns in four days. And I haven't even wrapped presents yet.

And I still can't dance either.

And then, all at once, boredom struck KL Snow. And therefore, having nothing else nearby to strike in the traditional "pass it on" fashion, and not quite being prepared to shave, he decided to update his Blog and then maybe write something for Snowbaseball.

The soundtrack for today's Blog update is the techno remix of Metallica - King Nothing.
(Not all blogs have soundtracks, but today mine does cause i'm trying to get Feliz Navidad out of my head. Thanks for that, Jess.)

The last couple days have been fun but a little weird...I went over 4 months without coming home and to a point I feel like absolutely nothing happened while I was gone. Everyone turned off their lights, some snow fell, and then I walked back through the door, turned the lights on, and everyone started moving again.

The Dance Dance is better at home, though. And not just a little better, either. Or maybe it's just cause I don't play it at 3 in the morning back in Des Moines, I dunno. But Morgan and I kicked ass in the overnight hours. It was fun to be able to hang out with the guys and just chill for a while. I know that's all I ever do in Des Moines but being able to pick up my habits and just travel with them and set them down in new scenery was nice.

One downside though, the homestarrunner jokes aren't nearly as funny here at home. It's a serious detriment to my ability to be funny.

The other downside to being home is that all my stress from Des Moines packed up and followed me too. I spent almost 4 hours on the phone last night and my big issue still isn't resolved. Oh, and btw - if by some odd occurance the people who tried to scam my dad concerning my student loans yesterday are reading this, pray for your soul. It will be mine, oh yes, it will be mine.

(Soundtrack change: Metallica - Seek and Destroy)
((The soundtrack actually changed like 3 other times, but this time it changed right as I was between paragraphs.))

But I guess I should probably wrap it up here, to keep my blog from becoming a bnovel or a bmultivolumeseries or just really blong. Take care, don't let the man get you down, and stuff like that.

No, wait, I can't stop now until I get this new idea on paper. Some friends of mine at home insist Santa is a wraith. A wraith is, to the best of my ability to explain it, an undead creature with ghostlike features.

Now, let's go over what we know about Santa Claus:
He watches out for goodness and rewards it with capitalist gains (i.e. presents) on Christmas or Christmas Eve or some other time. If your family celebrates Christmas at some weird time, like my family for instance celebrating Christmas the Saturday after, it's not that your family is weird, it's that Santa Claus used his wraithly powers to trick them into doing so to even out his workload over a longer period of time. Apparently this process starts in October, as Will begins receiving gifts at this time cause he's an exceptionally good boy...or something. But NO, this does not cover Christmas in July. You people who do that are just exceptionally screwed up. This year Santa Claus was nice enough to simply drop by my bank and make a deposit so I could pay my bills. I'd imagine that saves him time too cause he can probably do that on his computer from the Pole.

But aaaaaaaaanyway, now that we've got that randomness out of the way...no, wait, we're not quite done with Santa Claus yet. One more possible theory that explains the existence of Santa Claus AND the fact that we buy presents for each other. Someone (and I'd credit you if I remembered who you were) reminded me of the legend yesterday that the reindeer can fly cause they eat magic corn. Now i've heard of other magical foods, such as magic brownies, and as a matter of fact I've known some sorcerers in the past who have been so kind as to tell me what's actually in magic brownies. So if you doubt the existence of Santa Claus, I'd like you to try a little experiment for me.

Develop a deep love for all the world's good little boys and girls. (Not that kind of love, pervert.)
Decide you're going to bring them all a present in one night.
Eat some magic corn.

Here's what I think actually happens.
Santa Claus eats a lot of magic corn on like the 21st of December.
Santa Claus commissions "elves," who reside directly between the snakes and the snails, to make lots of toys for all the good little girls and boys.
On Christmas Eve, Santa eats a bunch more magic corn and goes on a "journey" to deliver all these gifts.
On Christmas morning, Santa wakes up on the floor wearing some really weird stuff he doesn't remember putting on and in a puddle he doesn't remember making.
He spends the rest of the year cleaning up the mess he made, doing things like getting Mrs. Claus' panties back from up in the rafters and fixing the hole he made in the floor when he fell climbing up there in the first place.

New side rant: Doesn't Mrs. Claus have a first name? It seems so...sexist that we know all about Santa Claus but know nothing about Mrs. Claus, not even her first name. I think we need to establish her first name. Give me some ideas.

(Soundtrack change: Disturbed - Down With The Sickness)
(Soundtrack change: Trapt - Headstrong)

OK: Back to argument #1. Santa Claus spends all year rewarding goodness and really doing little to punish evil aside from delivering them coal.

Then we have the Spectre. The Spectre is similarly wraithlike, he's God's wrath tied to a mortal soul.

(It's 3:47 and it's getting dark and it's making me sleepy. I got up at 1. How can people live here?)

Anyway, the Spectre operates on the opposite of Santa's principles. He essentially ignores goodness and punishes evil with exceptional harshness and brutality, then he banishes it to hell. So essentially, the Spectre and Santa Claus balance each other out, but if Santa Claus really is just chillin at the North Pole, eating magic corn and thinking he brings Christmas to the world, is the Spectre just chilling on the south pole doing something similar? Concept to ponder, that's for sure.

Rant concludes. This has been KL Snow.

So, lots of questions, not so many answers:

Q: How the f*ck do I actually update this blog?
A: Just keep clicking on things until you're pissed off enough that you don't really wanna write anymore. Then, right as you're giving up and ranting at people about how you wanna tell people what's going on but can't get to your f*cking blog, the answer will magically appear.

Deep breath...I think I'm done now...

(F*CK! F*CK! F*CK!)

Ok...definitely done now. Here are the real questions I face right now.

Q: Say you've got something that makes you kinda happy, but also hurts you from time to time, like, say, a quasi-relationship. Is it right to hold on and hope things will improve on their own and take the chance that they'll hurt you more instead, or should I...I mean you...just break it off before any more pain is passed across the table?

I'm struggling with this one. I'm definitely happier now than I would have been had all this never happened, but I'm also way more stressed and generally more sleepy because of everything that's taken place lately. I'm not so sure I want to go home for break with this hanging over my head.

A: ...I'll keep you posted.

Snow

So yeah. This is my blog. And after going to all the work to create a blog, I realized I don't really have anything to say that merits appearance in a blog right now.

So, bye.






Wait...are you still here? Why? Go away!

I have too much stuff on my desk. Stop wasting your time reading my blog and come clean it up.

Storage post

So I need blogger to host some pictures for me, and I'm using this post to do so. Sorry if you stumbled across it by mistake.